Re: Inter Office Gossip
by Handful of Silence
Summary: Lestrade and Donovan make a bet regarding Sherlock and John. It doesn't take long for the majority of the Yard to get involved. S/J


_AN/ Little random piece I wrote after having so much fun with the style of 'Communication'. Formatting on FF, is however, absolutely horrible (file names like png and wmv keep getting deleted so I had to compromise) so if there are any errors, please point them out. _

_Pairing: Sherlock/John_

* * *

><p><strong>Re: Inter-Office Gossip<strong>

From: S Donovan  
>To: G Lestrade<br>Subject: Freak's New Pet

_Well, what do you think?_

From: G Lestrade  
>To: S Donovan<br>Subject: Re: Freak's New Pet

_What did I say about calling Sherlock names?_

_And anyway, what do you mean, what do I think? About what?_

From: S Donovan  
>To: G Lestrade<br>Subject: Re: Freak's New Pet

_About the new guy. John, James... something like that. That doctor who hangs around with The Freak – I mean, Sherlock?_

From: G Lestrade  
>To: S Donovan<br>Subject: Re: Freak's New Pet

_John. Seems nice enough. Solid, steady sort of bloke. Just the sort of restraining force Holmes needs, although he's got a hell of a job on his hands with that._

_Why?_

From: S Donovan  
>To: G Lestrade<br>Subject: Re: Freak's New Pet

_You don't think him and Sherlock are...?_

From: G Lestrade  
>To: S Donovan<br>Subject: Re: Freak's New Pet

_Are what?_

From: S Donovan  
>To: G Lestrade<br>Subject: Re: Freak's New Pet

_Well, you know..._

From: G Lestrade  
>To: S Donovan<br>Subject: Re: Freak's New Pet

_Spit it out Sergeant_

From: S Donovan  
>To: G Lestrade<br>Subject: Re: Freak's New Pet

_Together._

_In a biblical sense._

From: G Lestrade  
>To: S Donovan<br>Subject: Re: Freak's New Pet

_I really did not need that mental image this early in the morning, thanks._

_Anyway, let's be honest, this is Sherlock Holmes we are talking about. Ice-man personified. The man who gives about as much interest in any sex as he does to Anderson's input in a case. He'd probably class it as 'mundane' or something._

From: S Donovan  
>To: G Lestrade<br>Subject: Re: Freak's New Pet

_Still, did you see the way he looked at John?_

From: G Lestrade  
>To: S Donovan<br>Subject: Re: Freak's New Pet

_I try not to. It conjures up all sorts of images that has me reaching for the brain bleach. But still, just because Sherlock actually shows interest in a person beside the ones who end up at the morgue doesn't mean he wants to sleep with them._

From: S Donovan  
>To: G Lestrade<br>Subject: Re: Freak's New Pet

_Oh, come on. Freak might be completely ignorant in 'normal people' stuff (I still can't get over the fact he doesn't know the Earth goes round the Sun :-)) but he's still (mostly) human. He likes John, and to him it might be dull and trite to fancy someone, but it's so obvious. I swear, that case in Russell Square they were practically flirting over that corpse._

_Bet you any money they end up together._

From: G Lestrade  
>To: S Donovan<br>Subject: Re: Freak's New Pet

_Is that a challenge?_

From: S Donovan  
>To: G Lestrade<br>Subject: Re: Freak's New Pet

_Why not? ;-)_

_What's say a tenner? I'm surprised they've not got their act together already, considering they live with each other anyway, but I give it six months tops starting from today, so about July. With Sherlock making the first move._

From: G Lestrade  
>To: S Donovan<br>Subject: Re: Freak's New Pet

_I'm going more for four months. We're not doing specific dates are we? Makes it easier to judge._

From: S Donovan  
>To: G Lestrade<br>Subject: Re: Freak's New Pet

_15th July. Nearest one wins._

From: G Lestrade  
>To: S Donovan<br>Subject: Re: Freak's New Pet

_23rd May. Although, I'd say that John would go for it first. For all his genius, Sherlock doesn't seem the type to be able to deal with real emotion easily...and well, John's a bit more world wise._

_A tenner then?_

From: S Donovan  
>To: G Lestrade<br>Subject: Re: Freak's New Pet

_Deal._

* * *

><p>From: T Gregson<br>To: G Lestrade  
>Subject: Bet?<p>

_Sally was telling me you've got a bet going on regarding Holmes and Watson. What's the winnings?_

From: G Lestrade  
>To: T Gregson<br>Subject: Re: Bet?

_At the moment, 20 quid. Why, you interested?_

From: T Gregson  
>To: G Lestrade<br>Subject: Re: Bet?

_Put me down for 10th May. I'll give you the money when I see you on Monday._

_You still up for that pint tomorrow? 7 pm, The Black Hound? Couple of the lads are going to be there._

From: G Lestrade  
>To: T Gregson<br>Subject: Re: Bet?

_I'll be there._

* * *

><p>From: S Donovan<br>To: G Lestrade  
>Subject: Evidence<br>_Attached file - 25.03Pic_

_OK, they definitely have something going on. This was them at the Bethnal Green murder yesterday. Look at how close they are. And I swear Sherlock is leaning in deliberately. There is no reason to stand that cosily near to a male friend just to read a piece of evidence over his shoulder. I tell you, nothing screams attraction like the invasion of personal space._

_If they haven't got down to anything already, it is so going to happen soon._

* * *

><p>From: R Dimmock<br>To: G Lestrade  
>Subject: Betting Pool<p>

_Hi Greg, hope you're enjoying your annual leave with the kids. Just been dealing with your wayward detective today, and so I'm not going to hope that the weather is good for you, as revenge for leaving me to deal with him. :-) Mind you, I can see what your sergeant's been saying about him and his doctor friend. Is 8th June still free? With Sherlock instigating. The man's insufferable enough to have to get his own way._

_P.S: I expect you to bring back at least one tacky souvenir/fridge magnet/stick of rock for me, to deal with the stress. It's a serial killer, so Holmes is bloody uncontrollable._

* * *

><p>From: S Donovan<br>To: G Lestrade  
>Subject: Fwd: John's Blog<p>

_I don't know whether you'll have seen it or not, but here's an excerpt from yesterday's blog post on the Major's Cat case. You can practically read the sexual tension there._

**** **… I mean, I never know quite how to deal with how he comes up with these things. It's genius. Actual, proper genius. He'll say something that sounds completely random, and then when I ask him to explain it, he'll of course give his usual arrogant sigh before launching into his rhetoric, but then it'll all make complete sense when he explains it. I tell you, he might be socially inept and blindingly ignorant to some things (Sorry, Sherlock, but the solar system is primary school knowledge, regardless of whether you 'deleted' it or not) but he is bloody brilliant..._******_

_Harbouring a little crush much? ;-)_

From: G Lestrade  
>To: S Donovan<br>Subject: Re: Fwd: John's Blog

_Have you read the comments section underneath? It's even worse, like watching a couple of teenagers. I'll copy and paste below._

_******Honestly John, you really do heap the praises on rather dramatically. I can hear your frantic typing from down here.  
><em>_**Sherlock Holmes** 1st April 9:34_

_Stop complaining. You know you love it. I can always see you preening when I tell you something's amazing. Bet you're doing it now.  
><em>_**John Watson** 1st April 9:35_

_I do not PREEN.  
><em>_**Sherlock Holmes** 1st April 9:36_

_I beg to differ. Oh, and Harry's coming over in a couple of days. Either be nice, or make yourself scarce – she packs a hell of a punch when she's mad, I know from experience.  
><em>_**John Watson** 1st April 9:37_

_*Comment deleted*  
><em>_**Sherlock Holmes** 1st April 9:38_

_Despite most of those deductions being true, she's my sister. Also, she reads this blog. I don't want to get a black eye because of you. And she will make any excuse.  
><em>_**John Watson **1st April 9:39_

_I'm sure I'd protect you.  
><em>_**Sherlock Holmes** 1st April 9:40_

_Knight in shining armour are you? ;-)  
><em>_**John Watson** 1st April 9:41_

_Hardly. If she's around your height, or lower, as is statistically more likely because of her gender, I should have no difficulty.  
><em>_**Sherlock Holmes** 1st April 9:42_

_Oooh, low. Height jokes, ha ha :-). Anyway, she's a Watson, of course it's not going to be that easy  
><em>_**John Watson** 1st April 9:43_

_If she's picked up some of your traits, then maybe there might be some initial difficulties. You are very very stubborn.  
><em>_**Sherlock Holmes** 1st April 9:44_

_I'll take that as a compliment  
><em>_**John Watson** 1st April 9:45******_

_Get ready to lose that tenner._

* * *

><p>From: S Donovan<br>To: G Lestrade  
>Subject: Girlfriend<p>

_In terms of those two sickening love-birds getting together, we have a problem. Code Red problem. Her name is Sarah. She works at the same medical practice as John. And from the comments on his blog, they seem to be dating._

_And as much as I find the Freak an irritating sanctimonious bastard, he has been getting more snappy and irritable since John has started spending nights over at hers._

_Still, I think May is knocked out of the running._

From: G Lestrade  
>To: S Donovan<br>Subject: Re: Girlfriend

_It's only been a couple of dates. It can't be that serious._

From: S Donovan  
>To: G Lestrade<br>Subject: Re: Girlfriend

_Think again. Check out her Facebook details._

********Sarah Sawyer  
><strong>Friends (67)  
>Born on: 12 September 1980<br>Lives in: Hampstead, London NW3  
>In a relationship with <span>John Watson<span>_******_

_Looks like Sherlock's out of the picture._

From: G Lestrade  
>To: S Donovan<br>Subject: Re: Girlfriend

_Poor sod. Not that I'm not happy for John, I mean, I'm sure he genuinely likes her, but... it seemed like him and Sherlock were really going to..._

From: S Donovan  
>To: G Lestrade<br>Subject: Re: Girlfriend

_Maybe the two of them had a fight. Or John's figured he likes the freak, and is reacting by dating the first woman who shows interest. Typical shallow bloke behaviour._

From: G Lestrade  
>To: S Donovan<br>Subject: Re: Girlfriend

_Oy! Would you like to be the one to deal with Holmes on the next case, Donovan?_

* * *

><p><em><strong>Clarky<br>**__GregLestrade You still running that betting pool? Some of the girls down in Forensics were on about it.  
><em>_12 minutes ago_

_**GregLestrade  
><strong>__Clarky Yeah. Though there is a problem. Of the female kind.  
><em>_12 minutes ago_

_**Clarky  
><strong>__GregLestrade Ah, this John's bird? Sandra, Susan, or something.  
><em>_11 minutes ago_

_**GregLestrade  
><strong>__Clarky Sarah. And yeah. I can't see John cheating on her.  
><em>_10 minutes ago _

_**Clarky  
><strong>__GregLestrade I wouldn't worry about it. Can't see it lasting much longer.  
><em>_10 minutes ago_

_**GregLestrade  
><strong>__Clarky Oh? How so?  
><em>_9 minutes ago_

_**Clarky  
><strong>__GregLestrade Read these tweets. They're from one of John's ex-army mates.  
><em>_8 minutes ago_

_**Clarky  
><strong>__RT BillMurray Saw Johnny today! Great to catch up. Came round to see me and the wife.  
><em>_3 hrs ago_

_**Clarky  
><strong>__RT BillMurray He's got himself a girlfriend, tho that wasn't a surprise. There was a reason we all called him 'Three Continents' Watson :-)  
><em>_3 hrs ago_

_**Clarky  
><strong>__RT BillMurray Didn't bring her with him. He was a bit vague on the reasoning.  
><em>_3 hrs ago_

_**Clarky  
><strong>__RT BillMurray Got a couple of drinks in him and he was all too happy to talk about it.  
><em>_3 hrs ago_

_**Clarky  
><strong>__RT BillMurray Trouble in paradise, that's all I'm saying.  
><em>_3 hrs ago_

_**Clarky  
><strong>__RT BillMurray Probably shouldn't have got him drunk tbh. Can talk the hind legs off a donkey after couple of Stellas :-)_

_**Clarky  
><strong>__RT BillMurray He just went on about that flatmate of his for ages.  
><em>_3 hrs ago_

**_Clarky  
><em>**_RT BillMurray Fascinating guy, even if he does keep heads in the fridge (don't ask)  
><em>_3 hrs ago_

_**Clarky  
><strong>__RT BillMurray I swear Johnny's in love. 'Three Continents' Watson finally fell for someone. Whoever it is, they're lucky. John's a good man. Saved my life.  
>3 hrs ago<br>__  
><strong>Clarky<br>**__RT BillMurray Still, I'm glad he's not on Twitter to read this; he'd kill me if he read any of these.  
><em>_3 hrs ago_

_**Clarky  
><strong>__GregLestrade Well?  
><em>_5 minutes ago_

_**GregLestrade  
><strong>__Clarky If even one of his mates is picking up the vibes...  
><em>_5 minutes ago_

_**Clarky  
><strong>__GregLestrade … 29th July still free?  
><em>_4 minutes ago._

* * *

><p>From: MH<br>To: G Lestrade  
>Subject: -<p>

_Good evening Detective Inspector. I've heard rumour that you and your colleagues are having a little competition regarding my the status of the relationship between my brother and his flatmate._

From: G Lestrade  
>To: MH<br>Subject: Re:

_Yeah. Um. Yeah we are. Just a little playful thing, nothing malicious or anything, just..._

_How did you get my email address?_

From: MH  
>To: G Lestrade<br>Subject: Re:

_Really, there's no need to get so flustered. I was simply going to enquire as to whether 2nd June was still available._

From: G Lestrade  
>To: MH<br>Subject: Re:

_Pardon?_

From: MH  
>To: G Lestrade<br>Subject: Re:

_I wish to place a bet, DI Lestrade. It's not too hard to understand. I am as sporting as the next man, and as curious to watch the progression of my brother's relationship as your colleagues at the Yard are if the staff room gossip is anything to go by. Therefore, is 2nd June still available with Sherlock instigating, and what is the wager? Coronation of Bessie, you know._

From: MH  
>To: G Lestrade<br>Subject: Re:

_Apologises. Queen Elizabeth II._

From: G Lestrade  
>To: MH<br>Subject: Re:

_The wager... it's around £10. The second is available._

_It is probably a bad idea to ask whether you've been hacking into the supposedly secure CCTV loop of the Met isn't it?_

From: MH  
>To: G Lestrade<br>Subject: Re:

_Indeed it would be. You'll go far._

_I will have my assistant deposit the sum in your bank account. Should my date be the successful one, I will get in touch. Good day to you Detective Inspector._

From: G Lestrade  
>To: R Dimmock<br>Subject: Bloody Hell

_You will not BELIEVE who just emailed me._

* * *

><p><strong>Y. Moore: <strong>_Trish._

**Y. Moore: **_TRISH!_

**T. Brooks: **_What?_

**T. Brooks: **_The whole concept of working hours doesn't click with you does it?_

**Y. Moore: **_Stop being such a spoilsport and listen. You heard about Holmes?_

**T. Brooks:** _Please, who hasn't? He's the reason the Met has a stress support group. _

**Y. Moore:** _Did you see him though? You were just coming on desk duty. _

**T. Brooks: **_Swooping in wearing that flappy coat of his? Yeah. _

**Y. Moore:** _Wearing the Purple Shirt of Sex? ;-)_

**T. Brooks: **_YVETTE! _

**Y. Moore:** _What? He might be an arrogant prick, but he's a good-looking arrogant prick. Those cheekbones..._

**T. Brooks:** _You are so shallow. _

**Y. Moore: **_Guilty as charged. ;-)_

**T. Brooks: **_Anyway, why d'ya ask?_

**Y. Moore: **_Did you see him?_

**T. Brooks:**_ We've established this. I have eyes. I saw him. _

**Y. Moore: **_No, did you see his face?_

**T. Brooks:**_ What was wrong with it?_

**Y. Moore:** _He was smiling. _

**T. Brooks: **_Oh, wow. That's really something to get excited over. You get a cake, I'll find balloons and we'll all have a party._

**Y. Moore:** _Stop being snarky. He was smiling. Actually properly smiling. No dead body in sight. No case for weeks. And he was grinning like the Cheshire sodding Cat as he was talking to that mate of his. The doctor._

**T. Brooks:** _Well that explains it then_.

**Y. Moore:** _What does Watson being with him have to do with him smiling?_

**T. Brooks:** _You not heard? There's a betting pool going on over how long it takes the two of them to get together. _

**T. Brooks:** _Shame really, he's quite good-looking. Especially with that stripy jumper of his. Used to be the army as well, and you know I'm a sucker for a man in uniform..._

**Y. Moore: **_Hold on a second – Holmes is gay?_

**T. Brooks:** _Holmes is Holmes. I don't think normal labels apply. _

**Y. Moore:** _How much is the bet?_

**T. Brooks:** _£10. I'm on for 6__th__ July. _

**Y. Moore: **_Who's running it?_

**T. Brooks:** _Greg and Sal over in the Murder Squad. _

**Y. Moore: **_I'll email them at lunch. Shame though really, those cheekbones were really quite spectacular... ;-)_

* * *

><p>From: S Donovan<br>To: G Lestrade  
>Subject: 23rd May<p>

_Your deadline is coming up. 10 days. If they don't manage getting together by then, victory is in my grasp._

From: G Lestrade  
>To: S Donovan<br>Subject: Re: 23rd May

_It's not going to be that easy. All of June and July is booked up. Forensics and Admin heard about it; and John Rance got drunk and shouted it to everyone in the Hound. If you aren't dead on the date, you're losing that tenner._

From: S Donovan  
>To: G Lestrade<br>Subject: WATCH  
><em>At<span>tached: 13.05Vid<span>_

_This is what I wanted to show you, have a look at this vid. Poor quality, can't be helped, but one of the SOCO's filmed it. Watch 1:35 onwards. 1:43 in particular. When that buffoon of a forensics analysis gets his arse out of the picture, you can see the Freak and John. Over in the corner. Face to face. As in the completely-no-personal-space/about-to-kiss leaning forward face to face. That kind of way._

From: S Donovan  
>To: G Lestrade<br>Subject: Re: WATCH

_1.44, you can practically see the eye-sex going on. Sherlock's taking those stripy jumpers off with his gaze._

From: G Lestrade  
>To: S Donovan<br>Subject: Re: WATCH

_You have a filthy, filthy mind._

* * *

><p>From: T Gregson<br>To: G Lestrade  
>Subject: Fwd: BAMF<p>

_Right, you know Holmes went missing? Because like the idiot he is, he thought he could handle it himself without backup as per usual. Well, I think it might have been a bit of a waste of office finances paying people overtime to track his whereabouts down. Because someone by the name of John H Watson did it for you. Don't know whether you've seen this yet, but honestly, it is EPIC. I'd be the first to admit the doctor doesn't look like much, but those oatmeal jumpers are obviously hiding a bloody wolf. Wolf with a gun. And a death wish. In short, one ex-army badass._

_I know the picture's grainy (My guess is that it's been fiddled with by someone higher up so there's no charges pressed against him), but the details are all there._

/ news /story /200510 /Mystery_Man_Sieges_Gangland_Storm-hold

_Check out this excerpt:_

****** "No names have yet come to light in the initial investigation, but it has been understood that a second man was involved. The man, whose identity has not yet been uncovered, eyewitnesses claim waged a ferocious one-man war at approximately 11pm GMT last night against the East London gang, known to be involved in drug trafficking and arms dealing. Those who witnessed the siege in the police interview described how the unknown man subdued any lookouts at the entrances, and infiltrated the hideout of the infamous gang, returning back outside after a period of time carrying the body of another man, who police say is in a stable condition in hospital, after having suffered injuries to the head and chest. The Met at the moment report they have no leads surrounding their investigation into the incident, but were quick to praise the actions of the unknown vigilante which allowed twenty seven members of the gang to be arrested..."******

_I'm telling you guys, John Watson is definitely instigating this relationship. There is no way that any man who will go up against an entire gang to rescue his captive not-boyfriend is going to wait around for that same man to get his priorities together._

* * *

><p>From: G Lestrade<br>To: All Departments  
>Subject: Evidence<br>_Attached: 21.05Pic_

_Snapped this at the hospital when I went to visit yesterday to check on Holmes progress. They were both asleep, and I couldn't resist sharing it round._

_I think I'm going to be winning this little venture if it happens in the next few days :-)_

From: R Dimmock  
>To: G Lestrade<br>Subject: Re: Evidence

_Is that... Is that John...holding Sherlock's hand?_

From: G Lestrade  
>To: R Dimmock<br>Subject: Re: Evidence

_Sure is. He's at an awkward angle what with being in that bedside chair... his back is going to bloody kill in the morning... but I can promise you that's John._

From: R Dimmock  
>To: G Lestrade<br>Subject: Re: Evidence

_You sly old fox =] Got to have more evidence than just a chaste hand-hold, though. The bet's not won until it's official._

* * *

><p>From: MH<br>To: G Lestrade  
>Subject: SH and JW<br>_Attached: 23.05Vid_

_I believe congratulations are in order, Detective Inspector; today is your day, is it not? This footage was taken from the CCTV camera outside of Baker Street, near my brother's lodgings. I should ask that you not divulge my part in supplying this data, Sherlock really can get so very stroppy when I meddle in his affairs._

_Congratulations again._

From: G Lestrade  
>To: All Departments<br>Subject: Fwd: SH and JW  
><span>Attached: 23.05Vid<span>

_HOUSTON, WE HAVE LIFT-OFF!_

_I think you all owe me a tenner._

* * *

><p><strong>G. Lestrade logged on<strong>

**R. Dimmock logged on**

**T. Gregson logged on**

**S. Donovan logged on**

**S. Donovan: **_You did not just send me what I think you sent me...!_

_**G. Lestrade:** Genuine, I promise you_

_**R. Dimmock:** Holmes looks remarkably enthusiastic for a guy who was in hospital yesterday. _

_**T. Gregson:** Bloody hell, they're really getting into it. _

_**S. Donovan:** Freak looks like he's trying to suck John's face off. Poor man :-(_

_**R. Dimmock:** Doesn't like the bloke's complaining much. _

_**T. Gregson:** Could probably get them on public indecency for this... _

_**R. Dimmock**: Tempting, isn't it?_

_**S. Donovan:** How long does the clip last?_

**G. Lestrade:**_ Only a couple of minutes. They take it inside after that. _

_**S. Donovan:** Their poor landlady must not have gotten any sleep last night. _

_**R. Dimmock:** Guess we all owe you a tenner then Greg?_

_**T. Gregson:** Hang on, let's check the details... who'd you say would instigate?_

_**G. Lestrade:** John. _

_**S. Donovan:** Rewind back to the beginning, make sure..._

_**R. Dimmock:** Walking, walking, walking, stopping outside..._

_**T. Gregson:** They're talking. Wish there was audio on this. _

_**R. Dimmock:** Oh, no, look, look..._

_**S. Donovan:** Result. Definitely John. Snogging the life out of Sherlock Holmes. _

**T. Gregson: **_Braver man than me._

_**R. Dimmock:** The look on Holmes' face is so PRICELESS._

_**T. Gregson:** I so want to keep this. Think it's against any privacy laws if we forward this to the rest of the departments...?_

* * *

><p>From: G Lestrade<br>To: All Departments  
>Subject: TONIGHT<p>

_Anyone who can make it; 7:30, The Black Hound. We can all toast the happy couple. Drinks are on me ;-)_


End file.
